About
I am Chinese, born in Hong Kong and grew up in England. I now live in regional Australia. When we first settled into our home here, our neighbour was one of those ‘sporty’ men - a ‘good bloke’ who worked hard and played hard. A popular guy, everybody knew him.
He was also racist.
There was one incident I will never forget that affects me still. I see someone that looks like him and I freeze up, tense up, short breaths. After I’d slowly gained more confidence, I put up giant red lanterns and other traditional Chinese things around the outside of my home and blared loud Cantonese music in the garden in response to his aggressive (and SO terrible) ‘cool dude’ music.
This was all a pathetic attempt on my part to regain some kind of sense of control in the area I’d decided to call home. I was still afraid of taking my child to the park just next door or taking my dog for a walk. I didn’t want people to see me. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be seen there - like nobody wanted me there. Yet I hadn’t done anything wrong. As I reflected on this experience, I realised all the many other ways I‘ve received this message throughout my life and how dramatically yet subtly it’s shaped my personality, behaviour, self-perception and internal dialogue.
As I explore these themes more through my art, I don’t want to feel bad or ashamed about who I am or where I’m from. I named my site HELLAYELLA as a reminder to myself to be proud and as loud as a mostly introverted, self-conscious person could be about my Chinese-ness. It’s an attitude I aspire to and am working towards in my own slow, roundabout way. For now, I am working hard on publishing and producing my own work - on the idea that I do have a right to exist here, at least as much as people like him - and maybe one day I’ll be able to present perspectives from others with similar experiences.
Thanks for reading,
Mimi